Dear lord, this is just ridiculous!
I went to this website called GameDaily BIZ and I learned that Hollywood is preparing to make a movie based on Joust. JOUST!!
If you aren't old like me, you may not realize how stupid that is. Joust is a video game that we used to like back in the 1980s. It came along after Pac-Man but before Double Dragon II. Let me show you what Joust looked like:

That's all there is to it. How do you make a movie out of that??
On another site, Newsarama, I learned that in order to "launch the new Joust franchise" even before the movie's release, they are making a Joust comic book.
Has the world gone mad??
In Joust, you are a warrior who ...well...JOUSTS...on the back of some sort of oversized winged bird against other warriors who are also riding oversized winged birds. When you defeat an opponent in combat, their bird lays an egg and flies away. You have to fly over that egg then to crush it before it hatches into another oversized bird that will try to fight you. Meanwhile, you have to watch out for the fiery hand that reachs up out of the lava at the bottom of the screen because if it catches you, it pulls you into a horrible death in the molten rock.
Oh, and every now and again a pterodactyl flies across the screen and you just have to avoid him because there is no way to kill him.
What a movie that all is going to make!!!
I'm going to go drink a bit. Maybe I'll post something later when I'm too tipsy to remember how much hollywood sucks!

1 Comments:
See, the Jouster represents Man, and his eternal struggle to cadge quarters off of those around him to continue playing, while his Mount represents his late-'70s Chevette that he bought for $1600 because it only has 32,000 miles on it, so it's a steal even though the tranny leaks fluid into the Big Red Pit of Fire (and drives like a sluggish coked-out duck), while the Hand of Doom represents Fate and Time pulling at Our Hero's hem while he tries to prove that good eye-to-hand coordination will get him a high-paying job in the burgeoning Computer Maintainence field.
Why can't you see the potential?
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